Well, technically, but in a good way!
by KF fan
Summary: Raven's trying to find the right guy for her. She thinks she knows just what she wants. Everyone thinks it's Aqualad. But is it? Or does she have very specific requirements for her man that only one Titan can satisfy?
1. Chapter 1

Raven woke from just a few hours sleep. She sighed with pleasure at the warm feeling of the sheets and the skin of the prince of Atlantis spooning with her. She would have liked to just luxuriate in the feel of naked Garth. Why couldn't she just do that, she angrily reproached herself. He's one of the most beautiful boys on the planet. Just enjoy this!

But she couldn't. Her mind was filled with ambivalence. She wished she could have just lay there enjoying the feel of him but she gently slid to the edge of her bed and then pushed a pillow against the headboard, sitting up with her back to it and pulling her knees to her breasts.

She glanced down at Aqualad's bare ass. That was one fine pair of buns. She stretched one leg out and rubbed her foot against the side of his muscular rear enjoying the feeling of the muscular mass of the boy's booty. Finally she sighed and pulled her leg back bringing her knee up to her breasts to match her other leg.

There was no denying that there were certain benefits to being with the beautiful, Atlantean. She rubbed his shoulder with her near hand. Gods! The boy had the most wonderful shoulders, so wide over that little waist. She sighed. To use an aquatic metaphor, she couldn't believe she was throwing back a fish this big.

So why was he not the right one? It was clear that he wasn't. Oh, it had been fine.

No, good!

It had been good! Good!

The boy knew what to do and he was intelligent and beautiful and polite and yet . . . it was like having all the tinder and kindling in the world and gallons of lighter fluid and a thousand matches and barely being able to start a fire.

Raven felt a serious pang of guilt. She had gone to bed with him just to enjoy his body without having the slightest intention that the two of them have a relationship. She sighed and gave an affectionate pat on the head to Garth, ending it with running her hand through his long hair. He stirred and turned slightly and she could see that the royal waking erection was present. Present and accounted for in regal dimension.

Her expression turned from ambivalent to something darker. She glanced at the still visible royal organ. She sighed. There was no denying it. She had held it in her hand. She'd had her fingers and palm pressed to the length of it and it extended past her hand to her wrist. There was nothing wrong with the boy. That was royal endowment. And yet . . she recalled the sensation, in mid coitus, kissing and being kissed and the royal thighs against hers and the royal buns alternately raising and pushing and . . .

And a definite lack of satisfaction.

Aqualad wasn't the right boy for her. He wasn't . . . enough for her. She sighed one final time with relief at the finality of saying it to herself. She couldn't have a relationship with Aqualad. She rolled her eyes. Everyone thinks we're perfect for each other.

But her eye rolling stopped with the acknowledgement to herself that so did she. At least, she had. It still didn't make sense to her. He was everything she wanted. Wasn't he? Which . . which box was not checked? And yet, they didn't click. They were constantly out of synch and, really, he was kind of . . boring.

She enjoyed one more rub of the royal buns, so round and so tight. Gods! And then she slid back down under the covers, raised his shoulder and slid under his arm to enjoy the warmth till he woke, till she'd tell him and then would have to tell the others as they all asked in turn. She wasn't looking forward to it. They'd made such a fucking big deal out of it.

The other Titan girls had all giggled with delight. Raven and Aqualad! Raven! And Aqualad!

"Of course!" and "Finally!" were the two sentiments among the girls. But even the Titan boys had all said to her in advance how the two of them seemed like a perfect pair, all except Beast Boy. Even they jumped on it. And since when were any of them match makers? They'd all immediately accepted Kid Flash and Jinx and she was a villain! As if they all knew that it would turn out right! All of them had jumped on it too, one freaking date. All of them except Beast Boy, but that was just a stray remnant of jealousy from him, wasn't it? And who cared what he thought, anyway?

Robin had gone out of his way to make sure that everybody's schedule in Jump and at East would cover for the two of them. She wished he hadn't made such a production number out of telling everyone how Bee was going to move her schedule to cover Aqualad's watch and how Speedy would switch his usual schedule to cover the next morning and how Starfire and Jinx were going to do the same in Jump.

And every Titan she ran into that day had gone out of their way to wish her luck, like it was a mission and not a date. Was she fighting Brother Blood or going out with Garth for gods' sake?!

Starfire was one thing but even emotional cripple Robin and increasingly withdrawn Cyborg had explicitly wished her a great time on her date with Aqualad. What the fuck?! Maybe there had just been too much pressure on them? Maybe that was it, Raven thought with a sigh. But a second sigh followed along with the acknowledgement that that hadn't been the problem no matter how insane the others' expectations had been.

Her date with Garth had been the focus of the group as much as a mission to save the city. At least Jinx and Kid Flash had joked about it.

"Your father and I will wait up for you, young lady," said Jinx with a maternal brandishing of one index finger before she and Kid Flash waved goodbye to Raven while she pressed the button for the elevator to go up to the roof to meet Garth.

When the elevator stopped, Beast Boy had gotten out onto the 13th floor as Raven had gotten in. She raised an eyebrow once inside. Was he going to be the only one not giving her an embarrassing amount of attention over this?

"Nothing?" she asked.

"He's wrong for you," he casually muttered over his shoulder without slowing just before the door closed.

Hmmph.

What did he know? Since his ridiculously lucky growth spurt had turned him into such a pretty boy he spent all his free time modeling, didn't he? Garth was a lot more substantial than that!

Okay, it felt a bit uncomfortable standing there on the roof wearing that formal black dress but that's what Garth had said. "Dress formally, Rachel and I'll plan a superlative evening together for us." Raven had had to go buy a dress with Starfire, Jinx and Argent. The process had been slightly ridiculous at every turn. Starfire wanted her to buy a designer dress that most people would classify as a bikini. You should show off that you have the pendulous breasts, Starfire had chirped with a perky nod of the head. Jinx and Argent guffawed and joked all through the process and it had been hard to get a decent dress that fit. But finally she had one, a simple small black dress.

She smiled at Garth there in the driver's seat of East's T-Car on the roof. Her dress felt like a bit much but the boy had topped her by wearing a tuxedo.

Okay, fine, she told herself as she opened the passenger's side door of the T-Car and got in, reminding herself to not snicker.

"Good evening, Rachel."

"Hey, Garth."

Even on a date, the boy still made with the formal phrasing of everything. He outlined the evening for her. First, dinner at La Folie, the finest french restaurant in Jump City. Then, to the symphony for a performance of Mahler's second symphony. Raven smiled. Yes! This was more like it. This was the sort of sophisticated life she'd always wanted.

That's what she told herself. That's what she'd always told herself. No more fart jokes and slovenliness and indifference to art and finer feelings. This was not Beast Boy. This wasn't even a relief valve night of sex with Speedy. This was the life for her. And she was going to enjoy it.

Okay, Garth was a bit . . talkative on the ride into the City. As he piloted the T-Car in vertical takeoff then jet modes from the Tower roof to an open lot in the City and then drove through the City streets he went on and on about the "board of fare" of La Folie. Beef bourguignon this. Coq au vin that.

Fine. What. Ever.

It was just food for gods' sakes, but fine.

As much build up as Garth gave the place it still didn't match the self regard the people there seemed to have for it. They, of course, recognized Aqualad and Raven despite their civilian garb but treated them like all the other customers . . . as though they didn't deserve to be in such a fine restaurant. The staff's every word, every gestured oozed with smug self satisfaction. She couldn't resist. She ordered the beef bourguignon and complained to the waiter that they seemed to have skimped on the meat. The waiter and the maitre de who quickly descended on her reacted like seminary students encountering an atheist bad mouthing a saint. Miracles? Those were card tricks!

Blasphemer!

Garth looked horrified and when the staff finally left them alone implored her, "Rachel! That beef bouguignon looked fine. If anything, it looked very rich. Why make such a scene?!"

But it had been fun. When the waiter arrived with the particular dessert wine that Garth had ordered the star bottle of the restaurant's entire cellar, Rachel couldn't resist taking a sip and shrugging with a loud, "Ehh."

The sommelier looked aghast at her. "Ehh?!" he repeated holding the bottle up reverently, "This is a Chateau Rothschild sixty eight. Why it's-"

"It's nothing special."

The man had retreated from their table staring daggers at her, not least because she'd said it loud enough for other diners to hear.

Aqualad had paid and left a generous tip but the staff looked at them with squinty eyed anger. Raven laughed as they got to the T-Car. Aqualad dropped the issue but only because he spent the entire 20 minutes of their ride to Jump Symphony Hall expounding on Mahler's second symphony. Raven knew vaguely of it. This was a highbrow's piece of classical music, not Vivaldi's Four Seasons or Beethoven's Fifth Symphony, pieces that idiots who didn't know classical music from Classic Coke had heard. Garth droned on and on urging her to "listen for the pizzicato resumption of the theme you'll hear in the first movement" and "note the dissonant harmony that you'll hear at that point". On and on.

Raven wanted to shout, "Hey, how 'bout a spoiler alert, huh? Can't I just . . experience it for myself?" But she composed herself and kept quiet as she and Garth left the T-Car and made their way into Jump Symphony Hall. Half the crowd seemed to recognize them. She could see people glancing and nodding their way and some openly pointing. How did Jinx and Kid Flash put up with this? They were always going into the city without trying to disguise themselves and they had pink and orange hair.

Aqualad dealt with it by adopting a regal reserve. He looked straight ahead and seemed to make eye contact with no one. Once inside the building the audience kept more to themselves. Inside, at their seats, Raven found herself snickering at a grandiose attitude not unlike that she'd seen at the restaurant. Garth had gotten them prime seats ten rows back from the orchestra. A middle aged and older audience filled in around them and now the nature of the looks they were getting had changed from celebrity curiosity to a thinly veiled scorn. Upstart vigilantes!

The heavy set man right in front of them had given a particularly harsh look as he'd sat down. And as he did, he farted. There was no doubt about it. The man had supplied his own tuba note to the gentle sounds of the orchestra warming up.

Raven doubled over laughing. All the presumptions of propriety and probity in that fat man and his crepe skinned wife's scowls at them and then -WERT! Now the man and his wife looked at her with true hatred. Some of the other nearby audience members had heard as well and might have kept quiet but took the opportunity to join in with Raven's carefree laughter.

Aqualad was aghast, his hand in front of his face, muttering under his breath, "Rachel! Rachel! I implore you . . !"

Finally, Raven composed herself and moments later the symphony started. She rather enjoyed it. It was a complex piece of music that brought to mind a surprising range of emotions over the course of it. But though she liked it, Raven wished that Aqualad hadn't gone on his extended monologue with prompts to listen for this here and note this there. It seemed to her, afterward, rather like seeing a thriller with someone who'd already seen the movie before and who shouted "look out behind the door!" at the quiet moment just before the reappearance of the bad guy.

Aqualad was elated. "Oh, that was sublime!" he kept saying. "Sublime!"

All through the ride back to the Tower, first as a car on the city streets then flying across the bay as a jet powered vehicle onto the roof of the Tower, their conversation was disjointed and halting. They couldn't seem to get on the same page. When they landed, Raven felt a burst of anxiety. No! Maybe this could be saved.

"Um, would you like to come down for a cup of coffee?"

"A cup of coffee?" he repeated with a slight smile.

Raven nodded with a deep breath and looked him in the eye. "Or . . . "

Minutes later there they were at her door, neither having given a moment's thought to caffeine or coffee beans. He took her in his arms and kissed her. She kissed back enthusiastically, wrapping her arms around the beautiful boy.

He spent the night and while it was . . good. It was not as good as she thought it would be and this perplexed her. In the early morning hours, she lay there spooning with him pondering all of this. His was much larger than average . . but still. Raven sighed, glancing around her room wide awake. Everything with him was just a little . . blah. This didn't make sense. This boy was everything she wanted, slender and ultra athletic, intelligent, cultured, well mannered. He'd ordered everything in perfect french at the restaurant. He reeled off all kinds of information about Mahler on the way to Jump Symphony Hall. He was beautiful.

It all just . . it all just lacked excitement somehow. He was everything she wanted, wasn't he? But somehow he was . . . boring. That was it. He was boring. There was no electricity being with him. There should have been because he was everything she wanted. But there wasn't. It didn't make sense. But it was true.

And it definitely would have been better if his was bigger.

She ground her teeth together. Of course, she couldn't say that to anyone. She couldn't say that the sex was okay but she wanted her boy to have a dong that was not just big but epic, a liter soda bottle of love. She certainly wasn't going to let the boys hear that. Oh, gods, no! It would just confirm their crudest, crassest most childish notions. But there it was. Like every girl, Raven had done a little research. The average boy's was six inches. Aqualad was much bigger than that. And yet . . .

Raven sighed contemplating her dilemma. She needed a boy with . . more. But, how to find out which Titan boys might be a bit more . . . masculine?

She was sure that Kid Flash was. He and Aqualad both wore unitards with dance belts underneath and, to judge by the size of the red bulge at his crotch, compared to the navy blue bulge of Aqualad's, the speedster's had to be even larger. It had to be. It was like comparing half a grapefruit to half an orange. But that didn't do any good. He was completely devoted to Jinx and the authenticity of it whipsawed her with ambivalence. The obvious sincerity of their love for each other made him seem even more desirable and yet it meant she could not go after him. As desirable as he seemed, intellectual but not stiff like Aqualad, and with the most incredible abs and tightest, roundest little ass on the planet, a proud behind that she never stopped loving from near or far, he was taken. He was the only Titan boy absolutely taken. Just her luck he was the one that seemed closest to right.

Jinx!

Beast Boy was out of the question. He was infuriatingly hot now, six foot one and 168 pounds of incandescent, verdant boy, the recipient of the kindest growth spurt in history, shooting up 10 inches from five foot three in just a few short months, suddenly having cheekbones and a jaw, a v shaped torso and long legs topped by an awesome booty that attracted the notice of fashion model scouts. Even his scratchy little toad voice was replaced by a deep bass that reverberated with strength. Raven shook her head thinking of it. Who could have expected that?!

But he was not going to be the one and that was as good as set in stone. His persistent attention in the first couple years of the team had been so awkwardly executed at every turn that it became a sort of challenge to her very identity. How could she ever give in to that?! It would have meant surrendering everything that she valued about herself. That's how stupidly he had approached her.

Fine, he was an insane pretty boy now. He had his bare green buns splashed all over that Abernathy and Finch catalog. Not quite Kid Flash quality round but almost and rocket fuel for fan girl interest. Between his one time interest in Terra and now his playing the whole male model game in his free time, Beast Boy seemed to be leaving her alone. Just as well. She couldn't imagine how to transition past their history to an acceptance of him.

Cyborg quietly set himself apart from everyone beyond superficial interaction, clearly crushed at how he increasingly was replacing organs with mechanical substitutes and becoming less and less human. She felt great sympathy for him but that feeling somehow to preclude romantic feelings. He was out.

But then, who?

She got some further clues from listening closely at the next girls' night sleep over in Jinx and Kid Flash's room. Late at night after more than a little wine, the girls got to talking and a tipsy Bumblebee let slip a sort of check list of Hot Spot's good and bad points, the latter mumbled quickly under her breath "he's got a short temper . . and a dong to match . . "

Raven cringed as discreetly as possible. So, the fire throwing Moroccan was definitely out.

Raven also heard Starfire casually remark that, "Robin's generative organ is seven and one half inches long with the erection," nodding cheerfully as she told Batgirl this. You didn't have to do much reading between the lines to glean sexual information from Starfire. Of course casually telling this to Batgirl was about the stupidest thing you could do given her simmering anger over her unrequited affection for the Boy Wonder. The next 25 minutes of the sleep over was, predictably, consumed with Batgirl's venting and then the others expressing sympathy.

But while better than civilian boys, that meant Robin's wasn't as big as Aqualad's and his hadn't been satisfying. Never mind the ridiculous difficulties that were probably involved in having any kind of normal emotional relationship with Robin. So, that was no solution.

Raven sighed and resolved to discreetly pursue further inquiries.

The next morning, after breakfast, Raven encountered Speedy in the Tower library. The red clad archer was walking over to a leather chair from the shelves of chemistry books passing her on the way to the poetry. He gave her a too cool for school nod and a "hey" before dropping down onto the expensive leather chair and slinging his legs over the side.

"Hey back at you," she tossed over one shoulder.

She was almost around the corner of the book shelves, out of sight, when he continued. "So, uh, you and Garth?"

She stiffened and stopped and turned half around to face him. "There is no me and Garth. There's me. And somewhere else there's Garth."

"Ouch. Prince Fish was perplexed. He thought it went great."

"It didn't go that great."

"Good?"

Sigh. "Fine. Good. Okay. Whatever. What's it matter if it wasn't right?"

He held up both hands defensively. "Hey, I'm not interrogating. I'm just a little surprised myself. I thought you two were perfect for each other."

She sighed. That again. She wondered momentarily why this was so frustrating then edged closer to him, glancing briefly around then, despite seeing no one else, lowering her voice anyway. "I . . we . . there was no electricity. There wasn't that . . that bam!"

"What's 'bam'?"

"I . . I don't know! That way that you see Jinx and Kid Flash with each other, where you instantly know it's right."

"Look, he didn't say anything. I want you to know that. He was the gentleman fish like always. But he's . . not the hardest boy in the world to interpret. I was pretty sure that you and he . . . uh . . . "

"Yeah. We did."

Speedy grinned. "I knew it," he chuckled then got more serious. "You bedded the fish but you weren't . . sold?"

Raven sighed and started to speak then sighed again and opened her mouth then finally narrowed her eyes. "You give me something first!"

"What?"

"I'm not going to tell you something until you give me something first. You give me something that I can hold in reserve in case you talk."

"What?!" he said genuinely offended. "Do I have a reputation for ever talking about . . amorous adventures? Do I?!"

"No," she conceded with a sigh. "But just the same. Give me something."

Speedy was only more intrigued now. What juicy piece of gossip was this that she was going to divulge that she was requiring hostage gossip to hold to ensure that it didn't get out.

"Fine. Okay," said the redhead. "I've-I've tried to get Kid Flash and Jinx to have a threesome with me ten times now and they've turned me down every time. There. That-," he stopped.

Her arms were folded across her chest now. Her head tilted to one side and her expression very sour. "That's not a secret. Everyone knows that."

"Not that it was ten times!"

"Not good enough!"

"Really? Fine. Okay, fine. Allright . . . um . . . how about this one?" he said first glancing carefully left and right. "Bee would never admit it anywhere but I had her a week after we moved into our Tower."

"Seriously?"

Roy nodded. "In her room right below her poster of Pam Grier in Jackie Brown. The twins were back in Guatemala and Prince Fish was in Atlantis for some royal something or other."

Speedy looked at her anxiously. Her eyes moved back and forth in calculation. This wasn't embarrassing to Speedy but no doubt he'd promised to Bee not to divulge it so there would be serious repercussions if it got out.

"Okay," she finally declared then moved closer till she was almost next to the leather chair where he sat and dropped her voice further. "I'm sure he's . . I mean, I know he's-he's big . . . ," she glanced down at the archer's crotch. ". . there but I . . . I need more."

To her complete exasperation, Speedy threw his head back and laughed then clapped his hands. "Oh, god! That's right! You can't get a big enough-"

He got no further as she grabbed his throat and squeezed tight with not just her hand but also black magic force. The archer made gurgling noises for several seconds. He tried to break her hold but made no progress. Finally she leaned in close and through gritted teeth put the choices to him.

"Do you want to be strangled or refrain from laughing at me?"

The gurgling noises sounded like 'Refrain! Refrain!'. She let go and he coughed and gasped for air with his hands protectively at his throat. "Okay! Okay! I'm sorry. It's just . . you always made such a point of talking like Beast Boy wasn't an adequate suitor because he wasn't highbrow enough when really it was because he wasn't hung enough!"

She leaned over him menacingly. He flinched.

"What? What? What's not true about that?" he pleaded while flinching. "And I remember being with you. If I wasn't so good with my tongue . . "

He launched into cunnilingus pantomime.

"Enough!" she demanded.

"Well, it's true. If I didn't know just how to flick a bean, it wouldn't have been a good night. I'm bigger than average but being with you is like dropping a golf pencil down a mine shaft."

She took an angry step toward him. He cowered into a fetal position shouting "Refrain! Refrain!".

At last he sensed that he wasn't going to be strangled. He stretched out again, legs over one arm of the chair. "So . . " he began quietly. "You need a seriously hung boy."

Raven sighed. She took the leather chair facing his and gave the faintest nod.

"You know," he continued. "Beast Boy might not have been even average before his growth spurt. I mean, he was barely out of the micropenis category, but now . . !" he laughed.

She shook her head. Not him.

Then, slowly, she glanced around the library, again, in a very calculating way. She realized that the archer had knowledge that could prove very useful to her. All those times in the showers and the sauna with all the other boys. They just walked around naked, didn't they? She gave yet another glance around before whispering, "So . . you know who's . . . well endowed . . on the roster and who might be . . right for me."

Speedy nodded. "Yeah. What about . . . Kid Flash? He's a nerd and he's got a dong like a fricking-"

She reached out and slapped him upside the head.

"Ow!"

"Are you fucking stupid? He's the one boy who's absolutely taken. He's married!" she half shouted.

"You know how many married men and women I've had? I-"

Slap!

"Ow! That hurts."

"He's not only married to Jinx. He's still in love with her."

"Oh, don't pretend like you wouldn't get a seriously tingly kink out of breaking that up!"

She slapped his shoulder this time. "Doesn't matter! He's off limits."

"Too bad," muttered Speedy. "That ass . . !"

Raven sighed and nodded slightly. That ass!

"Doesn't matter. It wouldn't happen anyway. Who else has . . . what I'm looking for?"

Speedy shrugged as if to say, well of course, "Herald."

She gave him a skeptical squint. "Is this some kind of race thing because he's black?"

Speedy chuckled. "Seriously? Let me set you straight. Hot Spot? Maybe civilian average. At best. Maybe. And See-More? Well, you'd see less, okay? Let's just leave it at that. This is not about race. But, Herald! If the guy couldn't break into other dimensions with his horn he might be able to do it with that dong of his. My god."

"Seriously?"

"He's got eight and a half."

"Aqualad was almost that," she said looking down at her hand and wrist trying to figure the exact dimension from that point on her wrist to her fingertips.

"Walking around! He's got eight and a half walking around. Changing printer cartridges or checking how many bars he's got on his phone he's got eight and a half."

Raven leaned back. " . . oh . . "

"Biggest Titan between the legs. He takes the gold and there's no doubt. The silver could be Kid Flash, maybe Captain Marvel Junior. The bronze-"

"Alright! Alright! I don't need a complete ranking of the roster's genitalia! Herald?"

Speedy nodded.

Raven considered this. The more she rolled it over in her mind the better it seemed. He was intelligent and mature but not . . . boring like Aqualad. He was attractive and seemed emotionally open. The whole jazz trumpet thing was cool. Herald.

Of course!

Herald!

Why hadn't she thought of him before?! Maybe because he wasn't around much and when he was he tended to be part of that group that hung around in Jinx and Kid Flash's room along with Argent, Aqualad and Arrowette. She'd always felt a little reluctant to be part of that group what with Kid Flash being off limits and the embers of her rivalry with Jinx still burning somewhere. So, there hadn't been that much time where she'd ever had a chance to interact with Herald. And part of that time he'd been going out with Argent, hadn't he? But she hadn't said anything at all about him the previous night at the sleepover.

So . . Herald.

Raven suddenly took notice of Speedy again, watching her from the chair before turning away from him and heading to the poetry section. His smirk annoyed her.

"What?"

"You're so transparent, girl. Good luck. And, hey, if it doesn't work out with Herald, you can always do it with Beast Boy when he's turned himself into a bull or something."

She narrowed her eyes and he jumped for cover, diving off the chair to the honey-white bamboo floor. She turned on her heel and went to look for that Rilke book.


	2. Gearing up

Raven took the Rilke book of romantic poetry and went back to her room. She read it from cover to cover, partly because she liked it so much. She nearly got a tingly feeling from the amorous sentiment of it. But it was partly to put her in the mood for romantic pursuit.

It simply wasn't something she'd done. She never went to a regular school like some of the other Titans. She never went through that whole social whirl of pursuing and being pursued. This was going to be something completely new. She sighed, determined as ever, and worked her hips down into the thick covers of her bed.

Herald.

She let herself zone out just thinking of him.

He was very good looking. She wasn't sure if he was smart but at least he didn't seem dumb. And he had . . . but he didn't do anything to accentuate it. She liked this a lot. Some hero boys, like Kid Flash, had to wear pretty revealing uniforms. But Herald didn't have to and he didn't. If Speedy was as well endowned he'd have made a bedazzled codpiece a part of his uniform.

But, what's the way to snag him? She pondered this for a long time. Then it occurred to her to look to other examples. How had the others gotten together? Of course! There had to be some patterns, some lesson for how to get together with a hero boy. But, as she thought about all of them, this feeling of elation, just do what they had done, quickly collapsed into disappointment. There were no road maps there at all. At least, none that she could follow.

Argent had gone out with Herald but she'd met him at one of the annual Titans Tower parties. The next one wasn't for another few months. Beast Boy had fallen in love with Terra but she'd been playing him, at least initially, for Slade. And what the hell had drawn him to her anyway? Was it because she was blonde?

She wasn't about to do blonde but she didn't have to. Herald had already dated Argent and she was a chalk skinned sorceress with oddly colored hair. So, it wasn't like he was only looking for some standard issue peroxide princess.

There was Jinx and Kid Flash but he'd completely been the pursuer there and the way he described their first encounter he was just crazy for her looks and loved that she was really smart. Raven wasn't about to knock over a museum in the city where Herald patrolled just to get his attention.

The pace of Robin finally getting to a kiss with Starfire had been glacial. She could not wait for that. It would be years before she ever saw that rumored epic organ. Captain Marvel Junior and Mary Marvel had always been around each other and probably always seemed destined for one another. It was like a boy and girl who grew up down the street from each other getting together. It was always going to happen. But she didn't have that association with Herald.

And Raven sighed at the thought of destiny. What did it really mean, anyway? What were all those prophecies from Azareth worth? They'd told her that she was going to be the means by which her father took over the earth and yet the Titans had beaten him.

Of course, she breathed in slowly, there had been that . . . other prophecy, too.

She'd just turned 12 and had learned of another book of prophecies, not the 5,000 page, three foot wide book that they had two attendants open for you and that concerned the fates of worlds and which had foretold that she would be Trigon's means of taking the earth.

The book of Sifra. The closest translation to english of Sifra was love. Only Sifra was a very specific subset of love, deep and abiding affection between a man and a woman. But you couldn't just read what the book of Sifra said about you. It was what they called an "ephemeral tome".

You went to a low marble building near the edge of a cliff overlooking an ocean bay. It was a beautiful setting somehow always with a soft breeze. The air was filled with hyacinth and lavender and an oracle, a woman with long, flowing purple hair in a gauzy white robe instructed you where to stand and how to touch the book. It was just a normal sized book with an ornate leather cover but all the pages were empty. She directed you where to stand on a precise spot a bit to the side of being directly behind the stand and how to put your near hand on the book's binding and the incantation to pronounce. You were supposed to think "loving thoughts". That's all she told you. Loving thoughts.

And then the history of your affection, that's how the oracle said it, the history of your affection will be written in the book. Raven did as she was told and then the Oracle opened the book and it was full of text, ornate cursive writing in old Uru, the language of the book's original makers.

Raven was fascinated as the Oracle slowly let the pages slip past her thumb. "What does it say?" she asked anxiously.

The Oracle was as placid as she'd been since Raven had entered. "It says you will know great love. But you will have . . . false steps at first. Hmmm." Pages slipped between her fingers. "Yes . . . hmm . . . Such is the way of love. You will not be . . . satisfied by earth boys. You will -"

And then, abruptly, the damn high priestess had called to the Oracle from the entrance to the building and the Oracle let the pages go and the book close as she walked away leaving Raven. Raven had pulled her hand from the binding and had watched the Oracle depart the room. As soon as she was out of sight, Raven quickly opened the book again. She knew some Uru. She figured she could remember what she saw and then translate whatever parts she didn't understand right away.

But when she opened the book again to the pages where the Oracle had stopped they were all blank again. She thumbed quickly through the book. Every page of the damn book was blank. She looked over her shoulder. The Oracle was just beyond the doorway talking to the high priestess and had completely forgotten her. Raven tried to repeat the incantation herself with her hand on the binding again, thumb . . here, was it? Fingers . . there? Amorous thoughts. But when she opened the book the pages were still blank.

Another student came in and the Oracle shooed her out.

Raven sighed thinking of it. ". . you will know great love". And maybe Herald didn't really count as just an "earth boy" since he had a special power. None of the Titan boys would except for Robin and Speedy but they weren't possibilities anyway.

But the way she'd said it, "You will not be . . . ". Pause. " . . . satisfied by earth boys"! And that slight smile, almost smirk as she'd said it. Did that mean . . .? Did oracles actually think racy thoughts? Had the prophecy foretold that she needed more than guys like Speedy and Aqualad, guys with serious equipment but still not nearly enough for her?

Gods, does the whole magic community know that I need it as big as I can get it?

Raven finally fell asleep.

The next day, getting tea and lingonberry bread, she bumped into Jinx and Kid Flash in the Tower kitchen. He had rushed up to her and they locked into a deep kiss for what Raven's jealousy made seem like an hour but was probably actually less than half a minute. He separated. "I'll be back as soon as Flash lets me," he whispered but Raven could hear it. He then sped off, just a whisp of red and yellow color and gone.

A few seconds passed.

"Want some?" asked Raven, pointing to the bread, razor sharp knife at the ready.

"Lingonberry? Sure. Toasted?"

Raven gave an "of course" nod.

"And some of that ocular fluid jam that Star just got?" Raven smiled and Jinx echoed it. The stuff totally creeped out the boys but it was soooooooo good.

The two settled into the leather banquet table right beside each other both thumbing through fan mails. Despite their earlier status as the bitterest of enemies, each would have quickly cited the other as the Titan around whom they felt most comfortable, outside of spousal relations.

Raven carefully watched Jinx. The pink haired sorceress did not like adhering to Robin's rule about an average half hour a day to answer or, at least, sort fan mail. Robin had wanted them all to answer every piece of fan mail which was nuts. Beast Boy, got more than a thousand emails or physical letters a week. The torrent of it had slowed down a bit just before his growth spurt but when he suddenly shot up to just over six feet tall with a face and body fit for the runway the fangirls had gone nuts. Gar objected on practical terms as did most of the others. The only one who'd thought it was okay was Kid Flash, who could type thousands of words a minute allowing him to respond to all the Flinx adulation if he wanted to.

Robin had backed off to "answer or at least sort" their fan mail for an average of a half hour a day. Jinx and Raven had both decided that scrolling past a message was sorting and could dispatch hundreds of them in a half hour. Their fan mail program was set to send back a standard response.

Jinx thanks you for your communication but she gets so many messages each day and the time demands of saving lives are so great that she regrets that she can't respond personally to this message.

As soon as she scrolled past a message on her communicator this standard message or one of five others would go out in response.

Occasionally, Jinx would stop and read a message through and write a long response. Just as Raven seemed to get all the goth girls, Jinx got all the correspondence from a certain kind of proto-feminist girl. And just as Raven would sometimes send back harsh messages, Jinx would reply with long messages to girls who tried to identify their life choices with whatever it was that they thought was Jinx's image.

The purple haired sorceress discreetly watched her pink haired counterpart thumbing out the last lines of a very long response to one.

" . . hating boys does not make u a feminist. And that's not what I'm about. I used to be about proving my worth by showing other peoples' lack of worth, too. Well it doesn't work. And, really being independent means not caring what other people think, not desperately shoving it in their faces all the time to get their reactions. That's almost as dependent as doing things just for their approval. Be your damn self.

Jinx"

Send.

Jinx sighed and leaned back on the leather of the banquet seating.

"Tough fan mail?" muttered Raven pretending to just now take notice of Jinx's responding.

The pink haired Titan sighed with her eyes closed and head tilted back. "They say these dumb things and tell me that they learned them from me or they're doing them for me or because of me? Is there anything worse than something stupid and that you disagree with being done in your name?! Aaarrrggghhh!"

"Tell me about it. If one more goth girl thanks me for inspiring her to all her stupid crap, I'll scream, too. I didn't tell you to bathe in some weird chemical to color your skin light gray!"

Raven let a decent interval pass. Jinx was still facing the ceiling closed eyed.

"Does Wally have any trouble like this?"

Jinx chuckled as she opened her eyes and turned to Raven. "What's weird is how normal they all see him as. He's as much a freak as any of us."

"Mmm."

"But he and Flash somehow have this-this . . everyman sort of vibe at least that's how the general public seems to see it and they really love Flash for it in Keystone City but it doesn't get Wally a lot of fan mail. I mean, what does he represent? Seriously. Some of them think that I'm, that I'm feminism and you're goth and Cyborg is tech and Star is girly girl and now Gar is a pretty boy and Robin is over the top determination but what is he? The outside world doesn't realize what a nerd he is so he's not a symbol for that, though he could be. He's no symbol in particular so gets like 25% of the fan mail that I get, if that much. And he responds to way more than I do what with . . " Jinx moved her fingers in the air in a pantomime of typing as fast as she could.

"For a while there, I was really jealous of you for how lucky you were that he pursued you."

Jinx rolled her eyes.

"What?" asked Raven, genuinely puzzled.

"That sounded a bit like what the guys think. Every girl knows better. I could have escaped his pursuit if I'd really wanted to. At any time. But it was . . fun to sort of spar with him at first. And he's just the sort of slender boy that's really easy on the eyes. Those buns!"

"Mmm!"

"And he's smart and he has such a good heart."

"Mmm."

Raven nodded. "So . . . how did you . . . control the pursuit?"

Jinx shrugged. "Are you kidding? I was smart about it. I-"

"Jinx. Rae."

Six foot tall Beast Boy breezed past them nodding to each on the way to the giant Tower refrigerator.

Raven stared at him through gritted teeth. Stupid Gar! She took a moment to compose herself and then turned back to Jinx. She was about to ask her to continue in a whisper, so that a certain green party didn't hear. But he kept talking to them over his shoulder even as he was bent over at the waist with his back to them.

"So, Jinx. Was that Wally speeding off just a few minutes ago?"

"Yeah, a helping out Flash sort of thing."

"Somehow, I don't get those requests from Mento," said Gar now withdrawing a bowl of blueberries and strawberries and, ignoring Raven's silent mental screams, go away, go away, then sitting down at the banquet table next to Jinx and almost opposite Raven.

"Don't you have some kind of male fashion model thing to go to?" Raven implored.

Beast Boy shook his head. "Got a photo shoot in a couple days," he said plucking a few blueberries from the bowl and popping them into his mouth. "Another ad for that car company."

"Green can be beautiful," smiled Jinx.

"It can also be #$&," muttered Raven.

"What's that, Rae?" asked Gar smiling extra wide at her. He turned to Jinx offering her berries from the bowl. "Want some?"

She took a few with a smile.

"Anyway," he continued, "I wish I'd had a mentor like that. Have you ever spent any time with Flash, Rae?"

"No I haven't, Gar."

"He's great!" gushed Jinx and to Raven's exasperation, Jinx and Beast Boy spent the next several minutes telling stories about what a super nerd and super nice guy Flash is and how lucky Wally was to have him as a mentor. Raven didn't mind the discussion. She just didn't want it now. She wanted to get back to asking Jinx how she'd snagged Kid Flash. What was she so smart about? What did she do?

But to Raven's displeasure, Jinx turned her focus to Beast Boy and their mutual appreciation of Flash. Fine, some of Beast Boy's observations about Flash and his relationship with Kid Flash and the failings of his own relationship with Mento were much more mature than she would have ever expected but did he have to get into it right then? He'd had years to act mature. He has to now? Now?! He couldn't have been an annoying brat 5 minutes longer?! Shouldn't he be satisfied with having turned into such an outrageous pretty boy?!

The conversation between Jinx and Beast Boy was only broken up by the arrival of the three other Titans. For the rest of the day, between training sessions and answering inquiries from the Justice League about minor villains who'd spent some time using Jump City as a base, Raven was never alone with Jinx to ask her to finish what she'd started to say.

To make the whole situation even more exasperating to Raven, all the other Titans were laughing and enjoying Gar in his new favorite shape, a bull. He went through phases, sometimes a week or two, sometimes a couple months, where he would spend a lot of his free time in the form of one or another animal. For a while it had been a hyperactive Weimaraner breed dog. Then, for a few months, he'd made himself into a spider monkey. For one winter it had been a polar bear then an ape, a velociraptor, stallion, kangaroo, eagle, leopard and lion.

He gave Star a ride down the hall on his broad bull's back right up to where Robin was sitting at the communications desk.

"Please, Robin! Haven't you researched enough of the possible whereabouts of these villains for the Justice League?"

"Just a little more, Star," said Robin without ever looking away from the screen with its list of the top 500 energy users in metro Jump City.

Beast Boy the bull crept up behind Robin and breathed heavily on his bare neck.  
"Please Star. Save it for later. I'm just as horny as you are," he muttered.

Beast Boy lapped at the boy wonder's bare neck with his huge bull tongue. Watching from 20 feet away and to one side, the others could see Robin smile slightly, still locked onto the data on the screen. "Oh yeah, Star. I want that, too," only to hear the uproarious laughter of the other Titans which followed and ,when he spun around on the chair, by Beast Boy licking his face from chin to forehead with his giant, drooling bull's tongue.

"Beast Boy!"

Robin chased after him but the changeling went from one shape to another to beat Robin to the stairway door then go under it as an insect then fly down the stairwell as a bird leaving the boy wonder far behind, all of it accompanied by the falling down laughter of the rest of the team.

Even Raven had laughed, still smiling as she made her way back to her room later that night. It couldn't be denied that Gar was useful in puncturing Robin's attitude of incessant fixation on crime fighting. It was too bad that he wasn't a bit more like this earlier instead of being so annoying. Before she started meditating, it occurred to her that it might have been a bit unfair to him that, when the team had formed, he'd been a 13 year old mixed in with 15 and 16 year olds and judged by their standards.

When her meditation session was finally over, hours later, Raven considered her Herald problem some more. She did a little searching on line for Mal and his jazz playing. She decided she would know the music that he played better than anyone else. For the next several hours, she played some of the recordings he'd made, covers of Herbie Hancock, Miles Davis and others. She'd never really paid attention to jazz music before but this was nice. She liked this. There was a smart melody to most all of it and it was a sophisticated sound. She smiled atop her covers letting her senses soak in the work of Mal Duncan.


	3. Trumpet then Taurus

All the auxiliary members were encouraged to spend at least a day every two months at the Tower if possible. Nothing could be enforced. Even Robin wasn't about to kick somebody out for not showing up. People had lives. They had their own crime fighting to do in their own cities or countries. But the idea was to be sure that auxiliary members were familiar with all the infrastructure of the Tower and up to date with ongoing investigations. It was also to bring the auxiliary members more into the fold and so that Robin had an idea of what was going on in the lives of each and every auxiliary Titan.

Herald had been candid with Robin that he traveled a lot for his civilian job, usually staying on the west coast with his jazz quartet but going up and down the coast, from Vancouver in the north to gigs in Mexico, at times in the south. He promised Robin that he'd do his part but likely through being at the Tower a couple days one month then not at all for a couple after that as he traveled with his quartet.

Herald, Mal Duncan to civilians, had family just up the coast north of Jump City so he would tell his three bandmates that he was going to stay a couple extra days outside Jump to see his Aunt and Uncle.

The truth was that Herald was conflicted. He loved playing jazz trumpet and he loved making a difference as a crime fighter, too. So, he kept his feet in both worlds and advanced in both worlds even as he developed a foreboding sense that something was going to happen in one or the other that would push him to being either just Herald or just Mal Duncan.

He liked his time in the Tower just fine. Everybody there was cool. Well, Robin wasn't, but he was uptight with everybody so it wasn't like he had some kind of special animus in his case. Who else would have all the titans joking that a lump of coal up his butt would come out a diamond?

All the communications center protocols were a bit confusing. Answer JCPD one way. Answer Interpol another. Inquiries from the NSA or FBI get dealt with yet another way. Why did it have to be so complex? It seemed like a Robin thing, making everything more detailed than it had to be. Eventually, he got the hang of it. But it took a while.

It wasn't like it was solo time, anyway. He wasn't a lonely night watchman. Jinx and Kid Flash would drop by when they weren't going at it in their room. Beast Boy was always bouncing around. Cyborg was kind of stand offish for reasons that Herald never quite got. Did he see Herald as a rival in some way? The other black guy or something? But, whatever. Fine. Starfire would come by and offer him horrible looking food with a smile and a nod. She meant well, even though stuff would crawl off the plate if you left it alone.

But this latest time, the surprise was how much he saw Raven. The last time he'd been there, a few months before, she walked by a couple times in the middle of the night getting a cup of green tea then an hour later bringing the cup back once muttering "Hi" and the other time giving a nod in his general direction. They never even made eye contact.

This time, she first sauntered out from the kitchen with a cup of green tea and stopped by the communications center and gave him a big smile and a "hi". A while later, she shuffled in from the hallway with an empty cup and saucer but turned left toward the communications center instead of right toward the kitchen. He looked up under the edge of his blue hood. To his surprise, the curvy sorceress sat her sweet booty down on the counter right next to the keyboard.

"I feel like I owe you a bit of an apology," she began softly, the lights of the city almost reflected twinkling in those pretty violet eyes. "Last time you did an auxiliary duty I just walked by you like you weren't even there, didn't I?"

"Well . . . yeah, you kinda did," he said back just as softly in that deep, slightly nasal voice of his but with no hurt to it.

"Sorry," she smiled casually putting her hand down right next to his on the communications center counter. "I get so wrapped up in my thoughts sometimes I-I probably seem like a bitch."

Herald shrugged. "No. And I sure wouldn't want people judging me by how sociable I am when I'm learning a new song, either."

"Yeah," she smiled. "Your music. You know, I-I used to hear Jinx and Kid Flash playing jazz music sometimes and-"

"Herbie and Miles," grinned Herald. "That's what they're crazy for."

"Um, yeah, Herbie-Herbie Hancock and Miles Davis. I didn't realize but you've recorded those, too, haven't you?"

"Those are some difficult tracks to make come out whack," he smiled,"but totally worth it."

"I didn't realize how complex your music was till just recently. I listened to that Oliloqui Valley one by Herbie Hancock. It's . . beautiful the way all the threads of it tie together."

Herald nodded then went on for the better part of an hour, prompted by Raven here and there, about Herbie Hancock, Miles Davis, the Empyrean Isles album, Kind of Blue, Bitches Brew and more. It was . . not quite a relief, he didn't feel pain that the joy of his music wasn't recognized most of the time. The joy was so great that it was more than enough. But it was satisfying. It made him feel so fulfilled that this exotic beautiful girl got it. If she got it, she got him.

He was surprised that their kiss didn't seem to take her by surprise at all and that she joined in right away. They had only kissed and groped a minute before heavy steps, Robin's approach from the elevator, made them jump apart.

The boy wonder looked at them suspiciously. The white eye covers of his mask would narrow when he squinted at you. Robin gave them a skeptical look. But he didn't even quite know what to expect. He returned to familiar ground and quizzed Herald on the communications systems protocols. Herald messed up a few of them. Raven slowly drifted away from there to the kitchen where she got another cup of green tea and went back to her room.

The next day, almost the same thing happened again. Herald was doing a couple days in a row so that he didn't have to show up for a couple months. Late at night, she stopped by and one thing led to another leading into another kiss. They were going further when they heard the Ding! of the elevator and then Clomp! Clomp! Robin approached from the hallway. They hurriedly separated and again pretended there was nothing going on.

The little street light immediately started quizzing him on all those damn pointlessly complicated communications procedures again. Send a message to Interpol like this. Contact the FBI like that. Herald groaned at the whole deal. And Robin even sent Raven to the Tower basement saying she was behind in some obscure training regimen. Not enough days this year. Gotta stay in peak crime fighting form. All that uptight stuff that only Robin would say. Kid Flash would always tell everyone that, behind all the leader bluster, Robin's really a nice guy. At moments like that Herald found it hard to believe.

But the funny thing was that it all backfired. All of it only made her seem hotter. Robin sort of trying to keep them apart only made Herald want her more. Oh, she was pretty and she had the booty and a rack but he'd never been into her. Argent, yes. Bee, yes. But never really Raven. She always had that nasty condescending vibe about her. The way she ran down poor little Gar!

But, getting to talk to her now, he saw another side of her. It intrigued him and suddenly it was hard to be there at the Tower at the same time as her.

Robin kept messing with the auxiliary Titans' watch schedule. Over the next three months, he moved Herald's watch days three times, each time to some day when Raven wasn't going to be around and each time Herald made a deal with another auxiliary, Hot Spot then Red Star, then Argent to switch to another day. And all the sneaking around that he and Raven did to meet each other made her seem more desirable than ever. All the hiding it from Robin somehow made it all better.

They exchanged a series of texts.

 _Lil bat cant read these can he?_

 _No. He's busy with other expressions of OCD anyway._

 _Lookin forward 2 seeing you grl._

 _Same here._

 _. . ._

 _U around this weekend violet eyes? Might be able to swing by Jump._

 _I'll be waiting. I still haven't seen you under that mask and the rest of your uniform._

Two weeks later, Herald wasn't even scheduled for auxiliary watch duty. But he dropped by the Tower anyway. His quartet was in Vancouver, but once the gig was over, a little lie about taking a different train south, a little portal opening horn and there he was, in the Tower.

Hot Spot was at the communications center desk, his head not on fire at that moment. He was answering a sort of pop quiz from Robin about the encryption used in all the Tower emails and rattling off the multiple ways it was done like nothing. Herald turned away, both because he didn't know the answers to those questions and because he didn't have a good answer for the obvious question. What are you doing here?

And why should he have to, wondered Herald, as he got in the elevator, feeling more defiant with every step. You're not my father, little bat. This ain't no 1950's with a curfew or some such shit. And everybody here can do anything they want with whoever they want to do it with. You didn't have to be married like Flinx, either.

It was in this assertive frame of mind that Herald knocked on the door to Raven's room. She opened the door, cloak off and looking fine. He didn't have to say anything. She knew.

He took her in his arms and kissed her and kissed her. When he finally let her go she gathered herself a second and then threw up a hand. Wait! Not here. She insisted that they go off to one of the other rooms that the auxiliary members and guests used. He followed her down the hall with a smirk. He gave that fine, swaying booty a pinch enjoying the slightly startled look back she gave him and then was surprised himself when, while she was working the lock on the door with one hand, she stroked the length of his dick through his pants with the other. Whoa, girl!

With the door closed behind them, he pulled off his hood and mask tossing them aside with his horn. He undressed the rest of the way as did she. That purple hair and light gray skin were so sweet together. He thought he'd get more of a reaction from her when he showed it. The ladies were always extremely impressed. The guys in the locker room would laugh and joke but the ladies would always have the same suppressed, but wide eyed reaction. He grew to expect it and to love it. But, surprisingly for a girl who'd gone for it out in the hallway, he almost thought he saw disappointment in her violet eyes. But that couldn't be.

Then he thought he figured it out. He remembered what one girl had said. He kissed Raven and rubbed those titties with their little purplish nipples. "Don't worry, girl," he told her with a confident smile. "It's not too big. We can do it."

And they did but, damn, it'd never been like that before. He felt . . . small inside her. Inadequate. Him?! The whole damn thing was off. It was like that time that white boy from some candy ass conservatory had tried to fill in for Clyde on bass when he was sick. He and Curtis and Ty were working the Herbie as smooth as ever and that damn white boy managed to be both too fast and too slow in the same song. Da fuck?

He thought of it as he was getting up and putting on his Herald uniform. He thought of that damn white boy that had screwed it all up at every turn. Because that was him. This time that was him. Every time he thought she wanted to go fast, she wanted slow. Every time he did one thing it was something completely different that she wanted. He started off all excited but she wanted slow and building. And then it didn't matter how he worked his tongue, he couldn't flick that bean to please her.

"Mmm . . . How 'bout this way?"

Sigh. "No. You're not . . . that's not the right . . "

" . . . wait, I got it . . . "

Sigh. " . . . no . . . "

"Mmm. Mmm. How 'bout . . . ?"

" . . that's not it either!"

He tried everything he knew but nothing worked right. He just couldn't get on the girl's wavelength or something. Even the main event didn't satisfy. God, that feeling of being small! Him! He shuddered as he put on his mask and then hood.

On the way out the door he muttered something about calling her. She didn't say anything. They both knew that after this completely unsatisfying experience they'd never date again.

He didn't even wait but opened a portal right outside the door and stepped back into his hotel room in Vancouver.

Back inside the guest room, Raven's thoughts exploded in recriminations as she got dressed.

Jackrabbit sex?! Seriously?! That was your first impulse?! And that was foreplay, that arrogant bit of pawing at me? And the . . . ! Melvin and Timmy have more technique licking ice cream cones. And what a vain jerk!

She imitated his exaggerated swing of his hips as pulled off his underwear. Oh, am I . . accidentally making it swing around for your visual pleasure, baby? Jerk! Don't worry girl?!

Nowhere near big enough!

Raven sighed with a feeling of defeat. He's not even smart. He can't get the stupid communications protocols right! Gods, Beast Boy got that right the first time out. He's almost dumb and sucks in bed and he's _still_ not big enough. I put up with all that to try to get satisfaction and it was all a waste! Aaarrrggghhh!

She made her way back to her room but felt a crushing despair over the night's events and didn't want to feel this terrible feeling in the surroundings of her room, with all her prized possessions around her. She jumped at the notion of getting a cup of tea and left her room for the kitchen.

Outside her room, she stopped trying to hold back all the horrible feelings of depression and loneliness. Tears were welling up in her eyes as she got out of the elevator on 14 and walked by the great room on the way to the kitchen. For just a second, she caught a glimpse of Kid Flash and Jinx on the couch. She had her back to the hallway. She'd said something funny and Kid Flash had laughed and, oh gods. Now he was smiling at her, the pure affection he had for her, looking at her and listening to her! Pure acceptance and adoration.

She could have regarded it as an example of love that she should strive for. She took it as a reproach.

I'll never get that.

Never.

Raven looked away and marched to the kitchen, her mood descending to pits of depression she had never plumbed even when certain that she was going to cause the earth to be taken over by her demon father.

Outside, skies that had been clear with twinkling stars were now clouded over. Gusts of wind could be heard buffeting the glass of the tower as raindrops streaked down the side of it, first in isolation and now as part of a raging squall.

Raven started a kettle on the stove and went over and stared out the window. The ocean below was all storm surge and white caps. The skies as black as her mood.

What now? What do I do now? Who can I see now? Who else is there?!

She felt herself go a bit limp with the realization that there wasn't anyone else. There weren't any other Titans who were romantic prospects? What was she supposed to do, take a cue from Kid Flash and date a villain? They're all psychopaths! And besides, the karma of being villains makes their equipment smaller. Argent had talked about it. Didn't Jinx say that Zatanna had confirmed it? Maybe that's why villains were always so angry.

Raven lightly shook her head. This was so unjust. Why me? Why is there someone for everyone but me?!

She felt herself spinning out of control. She barely controlled her breaths. Outside, the storm raged.

She cried, ashamed of herself for it. In all her years as the prophesied cause of Trigon laying waste to the earth she'd never permitted herself the pointless luxury of crying about it. She wept quietly, able to keep from going into a full out sob but unable to stop the tears.

She stared out at the stormy black night wishing she knew what to do next, wishing she could rouse herself to some action, any action toward that next process. But she felt weighed down by the crushing despair. She couldn't move. She couldn't do anything. She just stared out the Tower for how long, she wasn't sure.

The first sign was unexpected warmth. It cracked her all encompassing despair. It felt . . good.

Wh-what?

Her arms, her shoulders felt warmer. He wrapped his arms around her so gently that she barely felt it only realizing it after the fact. She just suddenly noticed the comfortable warmth of him, his arms around her, his legs against hers, his body behind hers and then the soft heat of his breath at her ear, whispering, "Please don't cry!"

"Please don't cry," he whispered again speaking from so close that she felt one fang against her ear as he hugged her tight holding the embrace through the slight shudders of more tears. When she finally got it together a bit more he whispered, "I'll always be there for you."

After wiping a tear she caught a glimpse of their reflection in the floor to ceiling glass. He didn't look like just a pretty boy. His face was so . . strong.

With her last tears gone she sighed. It just felt so comfortable in his arms. He kissed her on the neck and she felt his fangs just touch her skin then one of his long, pointy ears rub against hers. "I'll always be there. Whatever you need, I'll be around."

He kissed her and kissed her while his hands caressed her all over with a soft touch at first that only slowly escalated, perfectly matching her awakening from feelings of despair to building pleasure. She finally turned to face him and he bent down and kissed her as though it was the most natural thing in the world. She had no idea how long they kissed but skies outside were placidly moonlit, every galaxy visible, when they finally separated. Neither said a thing but both simply started walking toward the elevator. A minute later they were in her room.

Everything that Herald had done wrong, Beast Boy did right. When they undressed he was completely oblivious to his own nudity but smiled at the sight of her and gasped, "You're beautiful!"

They kissed and kissed caressing each other, green hands finding all the right spots, doing all the right things. This was so much better than Herald but not just him. It was so much better than with Speedy and he was the master seducer. But he didn't lover her and she could feel with every kiss and every touch that Gar did.

Several times he stopped right in the middle of kissing her or licking her and gave her the gentlest of touches, his palm to her skin as if burnishing her to a perfect shine and whispering, "You're so beautiful, Rae."

He licked her so perfectly, exactly the way she wanted, without ever asking that she filled with a delicious warmth that overcame her. She pulled hard at his pointy ears and his hair.

Out in the hallway, Robin was walking quickly back to his room. He'd left a set of data printouts there that he wanted to check against some Interpol data. As he turned the corner, he slowed. Some flowers in a vase . . unwilted. They'd gone dry and brown and now they looked as new and fresh as ever. He slowly picked up the pace again and was just steps away from his room when he swore he could hear the sounds of screaming coming from Raven's room. Even virgin, prude Robin could tell that these were not screams of despair. This was complete delight. He fumbled with the palm reader and quickly went into his room.

In Raven's room, Beast Boy settled against Raven atop her bed. He took her in his arms and kissed her.

"Whatever I need?" she said.

"Huh?"

"Before, by the windows, you said you'd be whatever I need. Did you mean that?"

"Of course, Rae," he punctuated this with another kiss. He couldn't keep his hands off her.

"Then, be the bull, now."

"What?"

"Be the bull now. That bull form you like to be so much."

"The bull? Now?"

She nodded insistently.

"But _I_ want to make love to you, me."

"It'll be you, just with a much bigger booty," she said with a slap of his green buns, "And . . . " she smirked with a glance at his already impressive green organ.

"So . . you . . want to do it with me as a bull?"

She nodded insistently, again.

He sighed. "For you."

A second later, male model Gar was a massive bovine animal taking up most of the area between the bed and her dresser. He snorted and tried to rub one of his long horns on her breast but she cut him short.

Raven circled him, inspecting her lover in his new form. Somehow, she liked this. He was not free to manipulate her with his swirling tongue and darting fingers. He was a 1400 pound herd animal. Even if his mind was completely there, he was huge and awkward, not the nimble skinny pretty boy he'd just been. His shoulders were a yard across. He didn't have the round little green buns that the fangirls shrieked about. He had a giant rump that must have weighed hundreds of pounds. He had no fingers but thick hooves.

She playfully pulled on his tail eliciting a snort of complaint. She smiled. All his tremendous mass didn't give him strength in this situation. It only transformed slender Gar into a great big object for sexual activity and not a prime actor. She would determine everything.

She circled round him giving a pat to his rump and then the burgeoning organ underneath him. Gar snorted helplessly. There wasn't even enough room for him to turn around there between her bed and her dresser. She finished circling and looked him in the eye from as close as possible, feeling the hot breath out of his big, black, wet nose.

"You're completely Gar in there, aren't you? If so, count five with your left front hoof."

The huge green bull stamped at the carpet five times with his left front hoof.

"You desperately want to get it on but you're too huge to do anything, aren't you? Blink three times if true."

The green bull blinked its green eyes three times and then adopted a pleading expression. Despite trying to catch it, a line of drool slipped off his wide mouth to the carpet below. Raven smiled. She kissed him between his twin foot long horns that both went out a few inches from his head then curved to point forward. She rubbed and caressed him all over but, as she had thought, only one place gave him sexual pleasure. Being a woman, she was not so limited. She let him put his wide mouth and his giant tongue to her breasts. He snorted with pleasure at this. She let him lick her all over with that tongue. His organ was throbbing, hard beneath him. He looked her in the eye and then down at his giant organ then back at her with a pleading expression.

"Just one more thing," she said, producing a 2 inch diameter steel ring that she held in a hand of black energy. She could see him look at her quizzically. She moved it next to his nose. Now he understood. He gave her another pleading look. Do I have to?

Outside in the hallway, thick sheaf of data printouts in hand, Robin was walking past Raven's door on the way back to the communications center when the sound of a large animal wincing in pain and then snorting angrily could be clearly heard in the hallway. The boy wonder stopped.

What the-?!

What goes on in there?!

But he wasn't sure what to do, if anything. So he paused there a moment but kept on going back to his room casting one more worried look over his shoulder as he went. Wh-what the f-?!

Using the ring, Raven pulled her now massive green boyfriend over to where she wanted him then gave him a push backward. He snorted in protest as sitting in this way was not easy for him with his huge, ungainly body. But all thoughts of protest left his mind as she mounted him.

She gasped with delight at the sensation, finally satisfied by Gar's gigantic bull maleness. He snorted, more of a bovine whimper at his difficulty in controlling himself. She expertly used him, sliding up and down him faster then slower as he started to whimper then finally faster again then slower, reproaching him with a tug at his big steel nose ring,"You don't have much to do here. You have one job. If you love me, last longer than you ever thought possible!"

He grunted a deep, guttural rumble of agreement.

She slid up and down him, a sexual bull rider using her boyfriend's power to give her pleasure she couldn't get any other way losing any sense of time or anything around them but pleasure and Gar. Finally, she was losing control herself and heard him snort and whimper with an urgency that indicated finality. She sped up and rode her shaking bull boyfriend back to the corral.

She climbed off him and he turned himself back into pretty boy Gar immediately taking her in his arms and kissing her. Her eyes were closed. Her thoughts were elsewhere. She suddenly thought of the Oracle and the prophesy from the ephemeral tome, the Book of Love. It had said that she would not be satisfied by earth boys. Well, he hadn't been a boy just then, had he. She let out a carefree chuckle and looked him in the eye.

She saw his half smile half questioning look.

"Another prophecy that didn't mean anything," she explained.

"Nobody can predict love, even the lovers don't see it most of the time," he said and gave her another kiss.

They kissed quite a bit longer then she sent him up to the kitchen to get some tea and some lingonberry bread with Tamaranean jam. He fumbled around a moment looking for his uniform then, not finding it, grabbed a small towel from her bathroom and went out into the hall that way.

Up in the kitchen, most of the other team members were there. Robin was at the communications center desk. Jinx and Kid Flash were seated at the leather banquet table whispering softly while Starfire was trying to get Cyborg to try one of her crazy casseroles.

Beast Boy padded in wearing only a towel barely big enough for him. He could see the others all stop and look at him but just wanted to get Raven her things.

"Um, Gar?" asked Jinx. "Why do you have a big steel ring through your nose?"

Gar reached up. God, it's still there!

He hadn't even noticed it. It hung down and touched both his lips but he'd just been accepting it.

"No biggie. I was just a bull," he said then reached into the cupboard for the jam and the lingonberry bread as he started a kettle to boil on the big stainless steel stove.

"You were just having the wonderful sex with Raven, yes?" asked Star, as she reluctantly put her casserole dish back in the fridge after failing to sell Cyborg on the delight of still crawling food.

Beast Boy would not say a word. He absolutely refused to be anything but a gentleman. But he could not suppress a smile. Cyborg, Starfire, Jinx and Kid Flash all sported grins, looking at him with expressions that bespoke congratulations.

Robin stepped around the corner from the communications center into the kitchen and slowly shuffled closer as the kettle was just starting to boil. Beast Boy could see him approaching, an expression of mild disgust on his face.

He got the extra large cup and saucer and the special green tea packets that Raven preferred. He spread the jam on the bread and then pulled the screaming kettle off the burner and poured the water letting the tea bags steep. He got everything together on a tray and almost ran into Robin who was now right behind him.

"You . . you have ring through your nose because you were just a bull . . . and you were just having sexual relations with Raven."

Beast Boy rolled his eyes. Sexual relations?

"So . . you two were indulging in . . bestiality, weren't you?" said Robin half shocked statement of fact and half accusation.

"Well . . technically . . but in a good way," said Beast Boy and he walked past the boy wonder amidst the guffaws of the others and went back to his beloved.

"Whatever you need, baby," he muttered to himself at the elevator. "Whatever you need."


End file.
